it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize