seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
