I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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