he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
