idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
