youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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