we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
