He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
