so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
