Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
