dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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