Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
