But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
