i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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