I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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