The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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