All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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