I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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