so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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