i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
