We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
