glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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