I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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