I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
