I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
they're like a gay fantastic four
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
