shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
