"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
