I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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