She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
