This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
