Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
They are going to name an STD after you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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