great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Drunk is not a location!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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