I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
