she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
