So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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