So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
People in love make me want to vomit
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
