just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
