it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
