You really coming over, don't trick.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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