then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
