the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
