You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
