so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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