it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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