my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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