So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
