I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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