This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
