This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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