Duck Duck Cougar?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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